Sometimes it’s easier to tell ourselves a lie than it is to tell ourselves the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts so much that, no matter how much we need to, we don’t want to face it. That’s pretty much the way I lived much of my life.
Facing the truth is easy to do when our lives are going well, our family can be trusted, when there are few bumps and even fewer mountains. Facing the truth about our lives when we have lived almost entirely in the valley of domestic abuse is another thing altogether.
It hurts to acknowledge the truth that your father was an abusive alcoholic and your mother was verbally and emotionally abusive.
It hurts to admit that your marriage has been a boiling toxic cauldron of pain.
It hurts to admit that some of your children have believed and followed your abuser.
It hurts to admit that you’ve listened to all of the lies, all of the garbage spewed at you, and you’ve swallowed much of the filth.
It hurts, but it’s necessary if healing is to ever take place.
Truth has to replace lies. These things happened. They were wrong. They hurt in ways that words could never convey. My heart has been shattered into millions upon millions of piece forever. But there is hope. There is healing available.
Bit by bit, little by little, I’ve learned to tell myself the truth about my life. I’ve learned not to listen to the lies of those who would abuse me. I’ve learned to replace the lies I was told for so long with the real Truth. The Truth that God is my real Father. That when others abandon and abuse, He takes me up. He protects, He defends, He loves.
Jesus loves me. We teach our children to sing it but, for abuse victims, it’s a hard truth to understand. But it’s also one of the most important truths to learn. I struggled to learn it. To believe it. And to live in its precious balm. Now I’m telling you so you can.
If you are an abused woman, if you’ve been cast aside, castigated, lied about, ignored and had venom spewed upon you by those you ought to have been able to trust, turn to Jesus. He really is love. He really is there. He really does care. He really will take you up.
For He has done so for me.